What are all the things you wish you'd never learned?
As my belly grows, and a little human being I’ve never met before boots my vital organs, I have begun to wonder about all the things I do and don't want to teach my future kids. It's a lot easier to think of all the lessons and skills you were never taught growing up, mainly how to do your taxes and manage you £5 pocket money, but it's a lot harder to dig deep and unearth all of the conditionings and programming you don't want to pass on.
Below are 10 things I won’t be teaching my kids, in no particular order:
There are boy and girl gender specific colours, games, behaviours, characteristics and job roles. I have to catch my own conditioning of saying to little girls “you’re so pretty!” and to little boys “you’re so strong!”
Your life will be easier if you smile at the strange man. We’re taught how to use manners such as ‘yes please’ and ‘no thank you.’ But most of the time a ‘no’ needs no polite courtesy.
That you will find ‘the one.’ The one is yourself. When you focus on the biggest relationship of your life, without looking to external people, pleasures or distractions, then you will find peace. Once you find that peace and love, you can choose whether you want to be with someone who has the same nature and have a beautiful relationship, or you can choose to be single and dodge everyone else!
Adults, parents, teachers, peers, religion and science are to be trusted more than your natural instincts and gut feeling. Learn and respect others, but trust your intuition.
You can achieve anything you want to. This is a lie. I can’t be a singer because I sound like a screeching cat on heat, however if I thought outside the box, I could find a career in music whether that was writing songs, cleaning singers' microphones or designing the latest sound technology.
Fashion magazines are fashionable. Trends change, what looks great now won’t look good in ten years. Find your own style. Plus beauty is not found in products that make you feel crap about yourself.
Mean Girls is a great movie. A bunch of intelligent/fierce girls fighting over Aaron Samuels? Nah mate.
You’re a failure if you don’t pass your exams. Modern exams are a memory game and leave no room for creativity or imagination. You may get a D on your maths test, but in the real world as long as you can do basic calculations in a shop, you’re fine - trust me!
The more you earn, the more successful you are. If you’re working 60-hour work weeks and killing yourself in the process, you will probably have an early heart attack and die without enjoying any of it. The truth can be all of the below:
- The less you work for a higher rate the more successful you are
- The more present you are in life the more successful you are
- The more joy and happiness you find the more successful you are
- The more experiences you adventure on the more successful you are
- The more you help and impact other the more successful you are
- No-one else can define your success
You are your experiences, stories, identities, personas, likes, dislikes, thoughts, moods and emotions. You are the one that witnesses them...
Written by Amy Manson
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